Sandy left us yesterday at around 10.20am. She was perfectly fine when I saw her during the weekend but couldn't get up on Wednesday despite still having a perfect appetite. I know I never got round to blogging about how we got her in 2012 due to my procrastinating nature, but I'd like to at least keep a note of my last memory of her.
Life was normal on Wednesday, commute to work - lunch break - continue to work.. Then as I was packing up about to leave office at around 6.25pm, I got a text from bro saying that Sandy couldn't move, and the vet had come and gone with the diagnosis that the lump on her hip could have metastasized and was causing pressure on her spine. She must have been feeling discomfort as she was whining in her sleep the night before.
That night I couldn't sleep till almost 4am, the crying had started from my walk to the MRT station from office and the tears just kept going on until post-event, they just wouldn't stop. Even today they spring up suddenly whenever I think of that silly face. I thought all that crying yesterday would have depleted my tear resources, but come 4pm today (her usual pee pee/poo poo timing) and when a tuft of her fur flew up from some spot on the floor in front of my face, the tears just appeared out of nowhere again.
We were at the clinic well before the appointment at 10am to put her to sleep and despite her ordeal the day before she still managed to show me a smiling face and wagging tail. She was also her greedy self, finishing the entire packet of treats we brought her (only after they were torn into little bits for the princess). The only difference was that she could no longer move her legs and torso apart from squirming in different directions on the high table.
I was not supposed to cry when saying goodbye but I just couldn't hold it in. After about 15 minutes patting her head and cradling her, we had to go out of the room. The vet told us it would be over within the next half an hour, but checking my watch at the end, she came and informed us that Sandy was gone in about 20 minutes after we left the room.
The clinic kindly helped to coordinate the cremation. Being an auspicious dog till the end, the final bill came to RM1,281 (vet fees RM435 and cremation fees RM846). Now all that is left of the most amazing dog in my life is a little box with her bone fragments and ashes T___T
Dog Euthanasia (Interesting article on the process).
This morning, I was digging through the storeroom searching for a soft bag and this plastic bag appeared out of nowhere as well. Mum isn't sure where it came from but I am pretty sure it's rare to see plastic bags with the word 'death' on them right? "Thank You. Even death can't remove you from my heart. I love you so and you are my everything." I mean, if this isn't a glaring big message what is?
I probably need to take time to reach full acceptance and record more of our memories together so that I can dig them out from time to time. Since yesterday, I've already created a highlights album for her on Instagram and 2 albums in Google Photos.
PS: Thank you everyone who sent me messages yesterday and today. I really appreciated it a lot and at least I know there are people who care.
RIP my beloved Sandy (8 June 2012 ~ 10 April 2025)
